Sticks & Stones
by xSweetiePiex
Summary: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.... or will they? Kirsten's words at the intervention hurt Ryan deeper than anyone could know. How will he cope? Set after The Dearly Beloved. Ch. 5's up after a long wait!
1. Just Like Chino

**This story takes place after the Dearly Beloved in Season 2. I don't own any of the characters, and I'm not making any money off of this. Please read & review.**

**Sticks & Stones**

Kirsten's words played over and over in his head. _"Oh, don't you say a word. I let you into this house."_ Those words said it all. Kirsten didn't want him there. She never had. Well, maybe she hadgrown to tolerate Ryan, but that was all. When it really came down to it, she didn't consider him part of her family. Ryan looked down as his hands shook. It had been nearly all summer, and things still felt rocky. He had an obligation to Marissa to be there with her, to help her through everything. She had nearly been raped, and then she shot Trey, who was still in critical condition at the hospital. Things couldn't be going worse. But Ryan knew better than to say that out loud. If life in Chino had taught him anything, it was that things always _can_ get worse...

The worst part of it was that everyone except him and Marissa seemed to be moving on. Seth was just as self-absorbed as normal. Sandy was trying his hardest to pretend things were going to be okay. Maybe he really believed it. Ryan knew that as soon as Kirsten got back from rehab, he'd be out of the house. They wouldn't kick him out, of course.They wouldn't throw him away like a piece of trash, but Ryan would not stand to be an imposition any longer. He had taken life with the Cohens for granted. Maybe he had fooledhimself into believing he was really wanted. After all the things with Oliver, Tijuana, and even fights with Luke, Ryan realized just how far he had pushed them. Nobody could tolerate all that, could they?

He didn't deserve this family. And, because of the love and respect he had for them, he wouldn't stand to be a burden any longer. He thought back to the intervention, only this time, his ownwords played in his head, _"Yeah, you did because my own mom couldn't take care of me. Because she wouldn't get help even though I asked her to. I don't want to see that happen again to someone I love." _He had put his feelings; his raw emotions out there and she hadn't even reacted. Maybe it was because she was upset. But, more likely, it was because she didn't feel the same way about him. Who was he kidding? Who could possibly want to take in a teenager like him?

Ryan dreaded the day he would hear of his foster mother's homecoming. Finally, one day, Sandy knocked lightly on the pool house door. Ryan was sitting on the edge of his bed, engrossed in a novel. This was one of the rare times when Seth was out with Summer and Marissa was out of town with her mom. He was completely alone, and that was nice, at least to an extent.

"Hey, kid." Sandy entered the room, uninvited. A wave of dread came over the teen.

"Hey." Ryan replied. He glanced up over his book, but continued reading.

Sandy waited for Ryan to stop reading. Finally, he placed a bookmark in the leather-bound novel and placed it gently beside him. "So, kid…" Sandy began. "Just wanted to let you know some good news." Sandy waited until Ryan looked him straight in the eyes. "Kirsten is coming home tomorrow."

Ryan's eyes shone wildly for a brief moment, before becoming void of emotion. "Okay, great." His feigned interest was detectable. "What do you want me to do?"

Sandy looked at his young charge and gently put his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you and Seth could straighten up the house a bit?" Sandy noticed Ryan wrap his arms around his mid-section and hunch over. "Are you okay? I mean if you don't wanna…" Sandy started. What was wrong with this kid? He normally would go to excess if asked for a simple chore, andnow he seemed so upset with basic straightening up. Than, it dawned on him. Sandy stopped mid-sentence, "You know, she really wants to see you."

This got Ryan's attention. "Huh?" He seemed puzzled.

"Kirsten. She really wants to see you." Sandy understood now. Ryan had avoided talking to her on the phone. The intervention hadn't gone well, and every time Sandy spoke to Kirsten on the phone, she'd ask about Ryan. She was appalled at what she had said to him.

Ryan didn't know how Sandy could tell what he was thinking. How could he read him that easily? With an air of false bravado, Ryan responded, "Yeah, I'll clean up. It's fine."

"Ryan…" Sandy began. "She didn't mean what she said at the intervention."

"Really? Because it sure sounded like she did." Ryan kept his voice steady. He didn't want to get into this. He didn't want Sandy to know how much it hurt him.

"Really. She was in a bad place. You should be able to understand."

"Yeah, because **I'm** supposed to be the adult here."

"Ryan…" Sandy tried to calm him.

"Just like Chino, right?"

"Hey!" Sandy didn't mean to let his voice jump, but he couldn't help it. The two of them had been dancing around this topic all summer, and now things just needed to be out in the open.

"No, you're right. It's **_my_** fault she drank. Just like it was **_my_** fault my mom drank. And **_my _**fault she left me, too, right?"

"Now, stop it. Right now." Ryan had never been this…._ aggressive,_ with him. And it was scaring him a bit. Sandy felt a bit ashamed of that momentary fear. Sandy knew Ryan would never really lose it with him… or would he?

"You know what? I'm out of here. I don't have to listen to this." With that, a very enraged Ryan left the pool house. Sandy looked on with a mix of anger and disappointment at the kid he cared about deeply.

**TBC...**


	2. You Deserve Better

**Thanks for all the reviews! This is the next chapter... Read & review please:)**

Sandy let his gaze linger on the door of the pool house, hoping beyond hope that Ryan would turn around and come back in, or that he would wake up and all of this would have been a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare.

He sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. And Sandy knew that it wasn't all about Kirsten. Everything that had happened before summer had led up to this. Trey. Marissa. The shooting. Ryan must really doubt his place in this family. The thought made Sandy cringe. After all they had gone through together, the thought that it could end just like that sent a chill up his spine.

Meanwhile, Ryan had stormed out of the pool house and was making his way to the front of the house. He saw the car, but decided not to take it. If he took it, he'd have to go back into the house to get the keys. He'd probably see Seth or Sandy and he didn't want to deal with that right now. Sandy was probably pissed off at him. Maybe downright mad. Ryan had rarely seen Sandy angry with him, but Ryan deserved it this time. He shouldn't have compared his home now to the one back in Chino. He shouldn't have complained so much to the man who took him in when nobody else wanted him. Kirsten was right. She let him into their house. How was it okay that he compared her to his mom? Maybe he was fooling himself, thinking he finally belonged somewhere. Maybe this time, he deserved to be kicked out. These thoughts drained the last bit of anger left in Ryan.

Ryan slowed his pace, but kept walking. He kept walking until he ended up by the beach. He plopped down on the sand and watched the waves crash into the shore. The salty air stung his face, and he barely noticed the single tear that escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek.

Sandy was still in the pool house for a few moments longer. He didn't know if he should follow Ryan or try to give him space. Concern overwhelmed him and he decided he should try to find him. He walked back into the house and Seth was still sleeping, so he quietly slipped out the front door. He immediately noticed that Ryan hadn't taken the car with him. At first, this made Sandy happy. _The kid didn't go that far._ But then, a scarier thought came upon him._ What if Ryan ran away?_ Sandy climbed into the car and took off.

Ryan stared silently into the ocean, trying to figure things out. He didn't want to impose on the Cohens any longer. Kirsten didn't want him there. The truth took almost 2 years to surface, but now that it had, they could never go back. Sandy was just trying to be nice _like he always was_.

Still, a part of him wanted Sandy to look for him, find him, and then take him back home. He wanted so bad to stay with Kirsten and Sandy. He loved them so much… he just wished they felt the same way. He even wanted Sandy to yell at him, tell him how stupid taking off was. It sounded weird, even to himself, but he wanted Sandy to be more there for him. Ryan hated having that thought because Sandy had been so kind to him, but recently, it felt like Sandy just wasn't there anymore. By pretending everything was okay, things just got worse. So engrossed in his thoughts, Ryan didn't even hear the footsteps approaching him.

"Nice waves." Sandy sat next to Ryan. The sudden presence beside him shocked the young man and he jumped up. Ryan didn't say anything, but resumed his seat next to Sandy. "So, you think that you can just take off and things will get better, huh?"

"I… just…" Ryan couldn't really think of what to say. It couldn't really be explained.

"Just, what?" Sandy asked. "You're upset. I get it. I understand. What Kirsten said… it hurt." Sandy continued. "But, we got to talk these things out." Ryan just nodded. His gaze traveled out to the clear blue water. Sandy sighed loudly. _Why wouldn't Ryan say anything?_

"I'm sorry." Ryan muttered, barely loud enough to hear.

"Sorry?" Sandy seemed puzzled. "For what?"

"Losing it. Back at the pool house."

"It's okay, I…" Sandy started.

"No, it's not!" Ryan said a little too loudly. "I shouldn't have said those things about… everything." Ryan took a deep breath and looked Sandy right in the eyes. "You deserve better from me."

"And you deserve better from me." Sandy continued after getting an odd look from Ryan. "We should have talked about this right after the intervention. And we should have talked to Kirsten, too."

"I don't even understand." Ryan started.

"Understand what?"

"Why you'd even take me in." Ryan had been wondering this for a while, now was just the first time he had the nerve to ask.

Sandy drew in a long breath. "You're special. And you deserve it. You're a great kid, Ryan. You do know that, don't you?"

Ryan snorted. "A great kid? Oh, yeah. The first time you met me was in Juvie."

Sandy replied quickly. "You didn't steal the car, it was your brother."

"Yeah, but since then? I've managed to burn your wife's house down, get expelled, sneak off down to Mexico, fight with …"

Sandy stopped him. He heard the tone of his voice when he said, "your wife."

"Yes, that's true. But, Ryan, look at what we've been through. Come on, let's go home."

"Home?" Ryan started. He seemed confused. "Alright, let's go."

Walking back towards Sandy's car, he felt a tinge of happiness. After fighting with Sandy and saying pretty mean things to him, he still wanted him to go back to their house. No hitting. No fighting. No alcohol. No being kicked out.

_That went well_. Ryan thought._ Now, we just have to wait for Kirsten to get home_.

It was going to be a long day.


	3. 911

**Here's the next chapter! I hope you all like it. I've decided to take this story in a new direction... which means nothing except there's a giant curveball thrown to you in this chapter... great! Now I have to live up to that. Read to find out! Please review! I don't own the O.C. and I'm not making any money off this!**

When Ryan got back to the Cohen's house, he went right to the pool house. He didn't feel like being around Sandy or Seth, not right now. He lost himself deep in thought. This had been a pretty regular thing now a days. Thinking. There was always something to think about. Likewhere he lived. He had always called his current residence "the Cohen's house", but really, it was _his_ house, too. _His home_. Could that be possible? Could he really have a home? A real home... where he wasn't afraid to come home at night? Ryan had thought so, at least until the intervention, when he realized that not only was this **not** his home, it would never be his home.

Ryan sighed and curled up in his bed. He was still concerned, and even upset about this whole thing with Kirsten. There was an unspoken promise between Sandy and Ryan at the beach that Ryan wouldn't try to take off again, even though Ryan had thought about that for a few fleeting seconds on the car ride home. But he couldn't do that to Sandy. He couldn't do that to Seth. When Ryan left last year, Seth took off to Tahiti. How would that be to repay the Cohen's for taking him in? That was a great idea, he thought sarcastically; help their son run away.

It wouldn't be the first time he got Seth in trouble. Practically the first thing he did in Newport was take Seth to a party where he got drunk and in a fight. What Ryan wasn't remembering, however, was how he also **saved** Seth at that party. It's funny how Ryan chooses to not remember his most important qualities, such as loyalty and friendship.

It must have been later than he thought, because the next thing Ryan knew, he opened his eyes and the searing sun was making its way just over the horizon. Ryan rubbed his squinted eyes and allowed his gaze to travel to his alarm clock. 5:45 am! Struggling with the covers on his bed, he rose shakily to his feet. There was so much he had to do! He told Sandy that he'd straighten the house. The last thing he wanted to do right now was piss him off by breaking promises.

Grabbing a shirt to put over his wife beater, Ryan practically jogged into the kitchen. He was mildly surprised to see Sandy sitting at the counter, munching on a bagel.

"Hey!" Sandy was just as surprised to see Ryan.

"Hey." Ryan replied.

"You know, Seth and I, we tried to wake you up last night for dinner. But, you were sleeping like a rock, kid." Sandy chuckled a bit.

Ryan blushed. "I'm sorry."

"There's no reason to be. But the real question is… why are you up so early?"

"Well, I told you I was going to clean a little…" Ryan's sentence dropped off as he noticed for the first time the kitchen, looking like, well, a kitchen. "But it looks like you don't need me after all."

Sandy noticed a distinct shift of disappointment in Ryan's voice. Was this kid so insecure right now that not needing him to clean would make him question his place in the family? That wasn't what Ryan was _saying_, but that was certainly what Ryan was _thinking._

"I actually got Seth to put some elbow grease into it." Sandy started. "It was a miracle."

Ryan laughed. Sandy's heart leapt a little. "It must have been." Ryan replied.

"Well, kid. Why don't you try to just rest? I'm going to catch the morning surf. Ya know what? Maybe we should go sometime. Would you be interested?" Sandy couldn't force Seth onto a surfboard with the Jaws of Life. Well, actually Sandy got him out there once, but Seth's incessant ramblings on the dangers were too much for Sandy to handle. Good thing he never brought up going surfing again.

"Um… sure, I guess. Well, about the resting part. I don't know about surfing." Ryan met his guardian's gaze. "But… maybe I could try sometime?"

Sandy hated himself for using Ryan's insecurities against him. He honestly didn't realize what he was doing at the time. "I'm looking forward to it." In reality, all he wanted to do was try to assure Ryan's place in the family long-term, not just while Kirsten was away.

Sandy gently patted Ryan on the back before taking off to surf. Ryan looked at the pool house through the kitchen window. He didn't really feel like going all the way back. His gaze fell on the couch. Quickly making up his mind, Ryan dragged his feet to the couch and collapsed onto it. He never really noticed before how comfortable it really was. The one time he slept on it when Hailey had come wasn't exactly pleasant. But now, it was like a safe haven.

Ryan woke with a start to see Seth standing over him.

"Hey, dude." Seth greeted. "Wake up!"

"Hey." Ryan answered groggily. "What time is it?"

"Almost 11." This got Ryan's attention. He snapped off the couch, pausing only a moment because the sudden movement made him dizzy. He lost his balance and sunk back into the couch.

"Hey, man. You okay?" Seth sat next to him and placed his hand awkwardly on Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan was never one to want to be taken care of. "I'm fine." He brushed Seth's hand off of him. Seth looked a little hurt, so Ryan added, "really. I just got up too fast."

But, it was too late. Sandy had heard Seth's concern, and home from surfing, came running into the room.

"You okay, kid?" Ryan looked pale and a little disorientated.

"M'fine." The room began to spin. Ryan felt so nauseous he was sure that he would throw up if he didn't get to a bathroom as soon as possible. He rocked back and forth gently in hopes of soothing his stomach. He did not want to throw up right in the living room the day Kirsten was coming home. On the off chance Kirsten wasn't still mad at him, he didn't want to make her mad again. Sandy and Seth watched Ryan helplessly.

Sandy was talking to Ryan, but he couldn't hear him. His voice had become fuzzy and Ryan began to not be able to see. Everything was turning black and his line of vision was fading. Panicked, Ryan tried to stand up. He felt so weak. Sandy tried to get closer to Ryan, but he pushed him away. Ryan's head rolled back and he lost his balance. Sandy was able to grab hold of Ryan right before he finally lost consciousness.'

"Oh, my gosh…" Seth took a sharp breathe in.

"911. Call 911." Sandy had tripped on the arm of the couch under the weight of Ryan's body.

As Seth ran for the cordless phone, the front door opened and Sandy heard the voice he had waited all summer to hear again. Torn between the necessity of staying with the now unconscious Ryan and the desire to be with his wife, Sandy realized that his left ankle had rolled under when he fell and was now throbbing terribly.

He heard the door close. Then the shrill voice of his wife, "Honey! I'm home!"

**What do you think? Review Please!**


	4. It's Not Your Fault

**Thanks for all the great reviews! You have no idea how encouraging it is! I hope you like this next part. As always, I don't own any of the characters... and I'm not making money off of this. Please Read & Review! Thanks :)**

"Honey?" Kirsten called out for her husband as she practically slammed the door behind her. "Sandy?" The disappointment was evident in her voice. She was expecting a welcome party, even if it was just Sandy and the boys. She really missed them. She had hoped they missed her just as much. She knew that some of the things that had happened and she some of the things shesaid were terrible… she just hoped everyone had forgiven her. Maybe she was just fooling herself. Enraptured in her own thoughts, Kirsten barely was able to hear Sandytrying to get her attention.

"Kirsten!" Sandy practically yelled. Kirsten could hear some sort of pain in his voice, and she immediately scolded herself for thinking her family didn't care about her. "Kirsten! I'm in here." Sandy's usually strong voice was strained practically beyond recognition. Kirsten didn't waste any time. She dropped her bags and ran over. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight in the living room.

Seth was sitting in the armchair, shakily rocking back and forth holding the cordless phone for dear life. Sandy was on the ground. His ankle had rolled under him, and Kirsten could tell it was already starting to swell. The worst of them all was Ryan. He was laying on the ground, barely conscious. His fair skin looked sickly pale, and he was trembling. Kirsten noticed how Sandy kept a fatherly hand on Ryan's shoulder the whole time, completely ignoring what looked like a really painful ankle sprain, maybe even a fracture.

Kirsten put her hand to her mouth. She rushed over to Seth. Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him on the cheek. At that point, she didn't care if he got mad that he was "too old" for that kind of stuff.

"What's going on?" Kirsten looked at Sandy, her eyes full of fear and questions.

Sandy opened his mouth to talk. His breathing was labored, and all he managed to say was, "Ryan. Passed. Out." His words were broken up.

Still visibly shaken, Seth added. "I called 911…" He tried to continue, but was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Rushing over, Kirsten opened it to find two young men in jackets that said "Paramedics" on the back. She ushered them in to the living room.

"We got a call concerning a young man who passed out." The first medic spoke, to nobody in particular. The second medic grabbed Sandy under the arm and helped him gingerly to his feet. He yelped in pain as his ankle made contact with the floor. Still supporting him, the medic helped him to the couch. The two didn't know that Sandy was hurt as well.

The medic looked at Sandy's ankle. "I don't know if it's broken or not. There's definitely swelling, and it looks like some torn cartilage. You're gonna have to go to the hospital, sir. Okay?" Sandy merely nodded, not trusting his voice.

While the second medic was helping Sandy to the door of his car, the first was checking Ryan's vitals. "Young Man? Can you hear me?" Ryan made no effort to respond to the EMT. He was only slightly awake. "What's his name?" The medic turned his attention to the young man sitting on the closest chair.

"Ryan," Seth croaked out.

"Ryan?" The medic shined a light in his eye. His pupils weren't dilated and he was responsive. Ryan blinked fiercely at the invading light. "Ryan? Can you sit up for me?" Ryan nodded his head ever so slightly. The medic took his blood pressure and pulse. Ryan started to sit up. His head fell backwards as he felt dizzy again. "Okay, pal. We're gonna have to take you to the hospital."

At the word "hospital," Ryan tensed practically every muscle in his body. He hated hospitals. He hated being sick. He hated being helpless. He just hated every single thing about it. "Woah, there. Calm down. It's okay." Kirsten, who had been helping her husband, came over next to Ryan. The other medic came over as well.

"1-2-3…" The EMTs counted as they hoisted Ryan onto the stretcher. They got him onto the ambulance. "Who wants to ride with him?" They looked over at Kirsten. Sandy couldn't ride because of his foot. But, Kirsten couldn't either. She had to drive to the hospital because Sandy couldn't and Seth was too upset.

"We'll meet you there." Kirsten answered, indicating her veryshaken son. He couldn't drive without causing some sort of accident. And that was the last thing any of them needed. For the first time since she entered rehab, Kirsten really wanted a drink. No, she **needed** a drink. Who was she kidding? She couldn't handle this. She couldn't handle anything. What kind of mother can't handle their family's problems? She couldn't. And that made her angry. She was Kirsten Cohen. Perfect Daughter. Perfect Wife. Perfect Mother. What had happened to her?

Ryan was fading in and out of consciousness by the time the doors of the ambulance closed. He realized he was completely alone. Kirsten, Seth, even Sandy had let two strangers take him away. Too out of it to realize that these people were emergency personnel trying to help him, and that the Cohens would meet him at the hospital, Ryan began to fight the two EMTs. He didn't have much strength left, but what he had he used to pull out the IVs stuck in his arms. He tried to pull himself up, but he was too weak.

"Hey, Ryan. Stop it. We're trying to help you." The first EMT was trying hardto be patient. He knew how scared Ryan must have been. But when Ryan would not calm down for him, they had no choice but to tie him down. For his own good, of course. But feeling he straps on his bare skinjust madeeverything worse. Ryan started fighting more actively.

Thrashing wildly, he practically broke the leather straps holding him to the gurney. Ryan could not stand being tied up. Especially with _leather_ straps. Once, when Ryan was little, someone had tied him up. It was Robert, his mom's first boyfriend after his dad was arrested. Ryan could remember clear as day. It was before he had such a hatred of the men his mom dated. He was young, naïve, and didn't realize the one thing every man wanted. Ryan was even thrilled when Robert volunteered to baby-sit little Ryan. He thought he was the coolest kid in Chino. Until Robert pulled out the straps. Then proceeded totie him to the bed before touching him in his "bathing suit" area. Yes, a part of Ryan died that day. His trust. His faith in human kind. And he was never the same.

The memories played over and over, vividly in his head. He was still the little, scared boy inside. Now the Cohens would know how vulnerable he was, and they'd throw him out for sure. _Could he ever be good enough for them?_ Definitely not if he kept passing out. Drained of all his energy, Ryan stopped fighting and practically dosed off. Before he knew it, he was at the hospital. The EMTs wheeled the gurney into the Emergency Room, and there was a neurologist waiting.

"17 year old male. Atwood, Ryan. Several episodes of syncope." The medics explained.

"Thanks. Hey there." The doctor approached Ryan and began his examination. Meanwhile, Kirsten had just arrived with Sandy and Seth. They signed in and waited to be called. By this point, Sandy was in pretty terrible pain. He hid it well, though.

"Where's Ryan?" Seth asked.

"Let's go find him." Kirsten answered.

"I'm coming with." Sandy tried to get up, but sank back into the hard waiting room chairs.

"Oh, no you're not. You just wait until your X-rays and then you can see Ryan."

"Okay." Sandy agreed reluctantly. "Just tell him to hang in there for me, okay?"

"Of course, sweet heart." Kirsten gave him a lingering kiss, the first they had shared since she returned home from rehab, and reluctantly, yet determinately, left to find Ryan.

Kirsten stumbled upon the two medics, who were looking for her as well.

"Where's Ryan?" Kirsten asked.

"Room 101. Right over there." Kirsten nodded thanks and walked in the designated direction.

"Ryan!" Kirsten gushed, hurrying into the room. Ryan was awake now, but he looked disorientated, and the first thing she noticed what that he was strapped to a table. "Excuse me! What is going on here?"

"I'm Dr. Coral." He extended his hand. "I'm a neurologist here. We are performing a tilt table test. The results are rather inconclusive as of now. We've ordered some blood work."

"So, what's causing this? Is he going to be okay?" Kirsten asked, impatiently.

"We're going to have to run more tests. It may be something as simple as an autonomic dysfunction, like neurocardiogenic syncope." Kirsten looked confused. "I'll get the forms. We're going to keep him overnight for observations. Has he ever blacked out before?"

"No." Kirsten was numbed by all this news. Ryan… sick? This didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair. Hadn't this kid been through enough? Did he really need to go through another trying life event? Neurocardiogenic syncope… that didn't sound good. Maybe it would be okay, though. The doctor _did_ sound hopeful. It didn't matter, though. All that mattered was being there for Ryan.

Seth walked over to the kid who became his brother and loosed the straps. Ryan felt so much better to be free. "Hey, man." Seth greeted. Ryan nodded up at him. "How are you feeling? You really gave us a scare back home."

"Sorry." Ryan's voice was raw. He quickly scanned the room and noticed Sandy's absence. Kirsten noticed thatRyan looked confused, so when he began saying, "Sandy…?", she quickly answered.

"He's seeing the doctor." Ryan looked bewildered.

"Is he okay?"

"Oh, yes, Ryan." She walked closer to him when he dropped his gaze to the bed sheets. "He just hurt his ankle."

Memories began flooding back to Ryan. Sitting on the couch. Trying to get up. Loosing his balance. Sandy trying to grab him… and falling. On top of Sandy. He had done this. It was his fault that Sandy hurt his ankle. "I'm sorry." His words were forced. "It's my fault. I fell on him." His emotions almost got the better of him, and he turned his head so he wouldn't lose control.

"It's not your fault." Kirsten spoke gently, approaching him. "Look at me, Ryan. I promise you. This wasn't your fault. And believe me, Sandy doesn't think it's your fault either." Biting his lower lip, Ryan met her eyes for a moment before dropping them. Of course it was his fault. He had caused pain to his legal guardian. To the one person who cared about him. The day Kirsten was coming home was supposed to be special… now it was ruined. And that was his fault, too. Guilt took over Ryan, as he slipped into sleep's gilded oblivion.

**I tried to make this one a little longer. What do you think? Please review! Thanks!**


	5. Not True

**Long time, no update! Thanks so much for continuing on with me, seeing as I'm a terrible updater! It's summer… so I'm really busy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. nor am I making any money off of this! Please read and review! Thanks!**

When Ryan woke up a few hours later, he immediately sensed another person in the room. Eyes clouded, he lifted his head only to find Sandy seated in the chair opposite his hospital bed.

"Hey, kid." Sandy greeted. The first thing Ryan noticed was Sandy's ankle, wrapped in a bulky plaster cast and a pair of metal crutches propped up against his chair. He groaned and put his head back down, refusing to answer his guardian. "I'm okay." Sandy quickly continued, reading his son's thoughts. "It's just a hairline fracture. 1 month tops and I'll be good as new. You're the one I'm worried about."

"I'm sorry."

Sandy didn't know what Ryan was apologizing for, exactly, but it didn't matter because he didn't have anything to apologize for in the first place.

"There's nothing you need to be sorry for."

Ryan scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Sandy did not appreciate Ryan talking back, but before he could reprimand him, Ryan interrupted.

"This is all my fault…"

"What is?"

"Your foot… my passing out." Sandy gave him a confused look. "I should've been able to stop it… like all the other times."

"The other times?" Sandy's voice rose a bit. Ryan looked up at him. "You've passed out before? And never told us?"

Ryan nodded slightly. "I thought I could deal with it myself."

"Well done, kid. Well done." Ryan dropped his head. Seeing this, Sandy softened his voice. "We're just worried about you. You could've gotten hurt when you fell… or…"

"Or hurt you more." Ryan finished. "I'm really sorry."

"That's not what I was going to say." Sandy countered. "What if you passed out while driving? Then what?"

"I…I guess I don't know. I'm really, really…"

"Sorry. I understand, Ryan. But there's something I want **you** to understand."

Ryan looked up and waited, expectantly.

"Kirsten and I, we're your guardians now. Let us be the adults. If something's wrong, you can come to us. If you're not feeling well, or just want to talk…that's our job." When Sandy saw Ryan's face fall, he continued. "Don't take our job away from us." Sandy's attempt at a light-hearted comment obviously wasn't making Ryan feel any better.

"Where are Kirsten and Seth, anyway?" Sandy's mentioning of his wife and son sparked Ryan's interest.

"Seth left hours ago… he wanted to stay, really, but hospitals freak him out. Kirsten went to grab a bite from the cafeteria." Sandy answered. Ryan didn't realize what time it was. Sensing Ryan's confusion, Sandy proceeded. "It's almost 7 o'clock, kid. You were out like a light."

Ryan sighed. He knew that passing out like that always made him a bit tired… but never _this _tired. "You didn't have to stay…"

"I wanted to." Sandy amended. He placed his hand on top of Ryan's. "How long have you been passing out like this?"

Ryan looked up at him. "A while. It started last fall."

"After that growth spurt…" Sandy added, shocked that Ryan had kept this from them that long. He remembered Ryan looking rather tired for a few weeks.

He nodded. "It mostly happens when something's going on…"

Sandy realized what Ryan was trying so hard not to say. Kirsten's coming home had brought this on. He took a deep breath. He had no idea things were **this** bad between the two. They had to have a little talk. And the sooner, the better.

"You know, Ryan, you could have come to me. Told me what was going on…"

"You've been… busy. With your own stuff. You didn't need anything else to worry about." Ryan's words burned unintentionally.

"Listen to me, kid." Sandy started, pausing to continue only when he knew he had Ryan's full and undivided attention. "We're always here for you. Next time… come to me."

"I promise."

"Good, because I'm holding you to that."

Sandy felt good for once. Ryan smiled slightly, and Sandy tousled his blond hair. Suddenly, the smile faded from Ryan's face, and his head lowered. Sandy turned around slowly to find Kirsten in the doorway, holding two turkey sandwiches.

"Hey guys." Kirsten greeted cautiously.

Ryan just glanced up at her. Sandy replied. "Those for us? Thanks, Honey!" He grabbed them from her, handing one to Ryan and sitting back down. His ankle was starting to hurt again.

Ryan just looked down at his sandwich. He wasn't hungry. At all. In fact, looking at the food just made him more nauseous than before.

Noticing his uneasiness and the urgency of getting everything resolved, Sandy propped himself up on his crutches, announcing, "I have to go to the Little Boys' room… why don't you two talk?"

Kirsten had been briefed on Ryan's feelings towards her, so she started. "Ryan… I think we need to…"

"Talk?" Ryan interrupted. "I think you've said enough at the intervention."

"It was a bad situation. I didn't mean what I said."

"You don't have to lie to me. Sandy's not here right now." Kirsten gave him an odd look at the part about Sandy.

"What does that have to do with anything?" She replied, defensive.

"You never wanted me here. You only _let_ me stay because of your husband." Ryan's voice was venomous.

"Ryan, that is not true!"

Ignoring her, he continued. "But don't worry… I won't be causing you problems much longer."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll be 18 soon…" Ryan sighed, his voice deflated. "Then you won't have to deal with me anymore…"

"This family is not a temporary thing…" Sandy interrupted from behind.

"You know you can say that as much as you want… it doesn't make it true." Ryan's caustic words barely escaped his lips before he regretted it. He turned his head away moments before Kirsten completely broke down.

TBC… 

**Please review!**


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